"No" Means NO!

Dear Wolverines:

You have rejection issues.

The guy doesn't want you anymore. He's over you.

Yes, he takes your calls. That means he cares about you, values your friendship, and hopes for the best for you. He wants to help you move on.

It does not mean that he wants to get back together. What you need to realize is that Les has a girl. She loves him. She'll do anything for him. They've had great times together, and they have big plans.

Meanwhile, you've been flaky, toyed with his heart, and left him worldly wise and better for it. He doesn't hate you. He still cares for you, but it's more pity than passion at this point. But that's as far as it goes. Don't push it.

Face it. She's hotter and nicer than you are. You can't help hating her, but that doesn't make you right to do so.

He's got memories. You have an obsession. You need to move on. Take a vacation to get your head together. Go sailing or something.

If you keep this up, you'll be in trouble. This is called harassment in some jurisdictions and you're beginning to remind a lot of us of Glenn Close, and that's really creepy. Nobody wants to fool around with the crazy chick and you're doing yourself no favors.

There's lots of nice boys out there. You need to look yourself in the mirror and figure out what you want, who you are. That obsession with the thug from New Jersey was just acting out. We understand that, but you're damned lucky he didn't say "yes." (They don't call it the Big East for nothing -- you never know what you'll catch!)

Take a few months or a year off if you need to. Date one of the local boys on an interim basis. You've been in one long-term relationship after another for 40 years (save for that bruiser who picked the fight with the cops -- he was all wrong for you.) It's silly to think you could just flip a switch and hit the dating circuit like Paris Hilton with Anna Nicole Smith's credit cards.

Relax. Stop making a fool of yourself. Good things will happen.

Sincerely,

Mad Toothfish.